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What determines the person you’re becoming and the life you live? I know that we all have bad days, but it took me exactly that to realize that for things to change, I have to change, and for me to change, I have to rewrite the stories I tell myself.
In 2012, I moved to the States from Russia with hopes and dreams. Russia, with all its vastness, was too small and constricting. I was not myself—I wanted freedom.
I was anxious, but I felt at home from the moment I landed. Maybe it’s because I had nothing to lose. Maybe, I was always meant to live in the U.S. Maybe it was something else. But I believe that we are always in the right place at the right time. Otherwise, we’d be somewhere else. It’s my truth. It’s not universal, but it’s mine.
With two suitcases, I moved to New York for graduate school. Was my English good? Not even close. A year before that, I gave my all to learn it because I needed to pass my exams.
When I first arrived in the U.S., I had nothing but hope. I had to start from the beginning — again. Back in Russia, I was working at a bank, but I had to adjust and engage with my new life. Although I had no money, I believed in kindness, and that if I do something for people without asking for anything in return, I will be blessed in return, and that’s exactly what happened.
When I moved to the U.S., I called one person I knew. She opened her doors for me. I promised that one day I would pay her back. I did.
I lived with her family in Queens, which became my foundation. My room was a converted kitchen space. Instead of a dining table, there was a wall between us. It became my home for the next few years—I was grateful. It wasn’t my first time migrating. When I moved from a small town in Russia to Moscow, I had a similar experience. I had no money and shared a room with another person for years—for the first two, we slept on the same couch. But I was still inspired by the future.
After a few years in New York, I worked my way up in the finance field and decided to switch careers to public relations. It was a painful and pivotal moment for me. I began to live, which for me, was a constant flow of rediscovering who I am.
Due to hard work and dreaming big, I became a world-renowned strategic communications and crisis Management expert, and the CEO of a strategic advisory firm to global leaders, organizations and people of impact.
In hindsight, it’s funny that I write for all these well-known CEOs, prepare them for media interviews, and tell them what to say and not say. Changing the narrative is simple, but not easy. You’ll have to go through resistance, a lot of it, but remember, it shows you that you’re evolving as a person and that’s the goal.
You can’t control many things, but you can control your mindset, your reaction, and your actions. In one instance, I remember working with Elon Musk on X acquisition. I received a call on a Saturday morning from a partner at the firm I worked for at the time, saying that they had a client for me, a very challenging one, and I’d need to work the entire weekend. The announcement was on Monday. I was excited and curious. You’d expect a billionaire like Elon Musk to relax and let others run his course for him. But no, he did exactly what everyone minus material wealth of this extent would do. He stayed up late and was intensely working and taking calls.
He changed his entire business strategy on Sunday night, although the announcement was on Monday. He was involved in everything. When he said, “I don’t think most people would want to be me. They may think they’d want to be me, but they don’t know”, it made sense to me. I found working with Elon Musk empowering. It taught me that you never know how your life will unfold. So, you better never give up.
Last year, I launched my podcast called The Narrative. Gratitude was the first thing I had to learn, to redefine the narrative of my life. I was in a dark place, and I couldn’t grasp what I was supposed to be grateful for as everything kept collapsing. But even in those moments, there was always something. If you can’t find anything, be grateful for things falling apart for you to build something new. One door has to close for a new one to open.
Everyone has a story. Even if our outside circumstances look different, the feelings we go through are very similar. There is always something to learn.
Karina Barton is a leading strategic communications and crisis management advisor for multi-billion-dollar corporations and high-net-worth individuals. She hosts The Narrative podcast. She has represented Elon Musk in the X (Twitter) acquisition, Valvoline $2.6bn sale to Aramco, GoDaddy data breach affecting 1.2m customers, Toshiba reorganization, among many others.
Prior to that, Karina worked in investment at JP Morgan, private equity funds, and hedge funds, focusing on shareholder activism, including launching a proxy fight to replace L Brands’ board of directors and restructure Victoria’s Secret business. Karina holds three graduate degrees, including an MBA from The Wharton School.
All views expressed are the authors’ own.
As told to Carine Harb.
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